Yay, it is another opportunity for Dopers to take part in their third-favorite task
Dating tips for nerds
So here’s my issue: we likes me personally some bashful, nerdy dudes, nevertheless they won’t ever start a discussion beside me. We have no issue using the effort (no fear, no tact, with no pity, actually), but them i tend to get fear signals back: stuttering, twitching, averted eyes, etc if I try to talk to.
I am perhaps perhaps perhaps not ugly (based on the good individuals when you look at the photo that is recent with good hygiene, gown feeling, and basic grooming practices. I am a bit quiet for the reason that I do not spend on a regular basis giggling and speaking like the majority of girls my age (22), but i will undoubtedly hold my very own in a smart discussion. I’ve no self-esteem issues or daddy problems or “issues” of all kinds, actually (except with individuals who utilize the non-word “anyways, ” but that is why I am a doper, right? ).
I am told that i am too intimidating (i will be dull) and therefore dudes will immediately assume that We’m taken because i am maybe perhaps not unsightly, but i am perhaps perhaps not flirting either (WTF? ).
I am getting sick and tired of holding the discussion for just two before the nerdy man realizes that amor en linea I’m perhaps maybe not likely to sprout a moment head and relaxes sufficient in my situation to make the journey to know him.
Can there be some shorthand, some alert or code phrase him know I’m not that scary, really that I can give or say to let?
*relationship advice. You may even participate in the passtime that is second-favorite that is nitpicking my sentence structure and spelling, should you feel the requirement. None of the first-favorite material in right here, though. It is a grouped household thread.: )
You hinted to the conclusion it sounds like you’re doing fine that you do eventually get the nerdy guys to relax, so. It simply takes longer with some individuals. I am a Nerdy Guy myself, and I also should get my spouse to tell you how–skittish–I is at very very very first. It can not be any benefit compared to dudes you are speaking about.
What type of signals can you distribute? Any kind of “you” language is very effective. “Name” language–that is, mentioning the individual’s name–is better still.
You hinted to the finish it sounds like you’re doing fine that you do eventually get the nerdy guys to relax, so. It simply takes longer with some people. I am a Nerdy Guy myself, and I also should get my partner to how–skittish–I tell you is at first. It can not be much better compared to the dudes you are speaking about.
*sigh* i understand, but often If just I possibly could slip a Xanax in their hill dew, ya understand?
What type of signals would you distribute? Any kind of “you” language is incredibly effective. “Name” language–that is, mentioning the individual’s name–is better yet.
This is certainly helpful advice. We you will need to send “not stuck-up” (because often people confuse “quiet” for “snobby”), “friendly, ” and “not threatening. ” We smile (but I do not giggle), We make eye contact, and I also do not interrupt them as they want to obtain a phrase out (it is hard).
Wait, you love the quiet(ish) nerd kind? And you also’re at OSU? If We just had vehicle…
Feh, whom’m We kidding? I would clam up too. Girls are scary.
Will there be some shorthand, some signal or code expression that I am able to provide or state to allow him know i am maybe not that frightening, really? To begin with, i simply took a review of your image, and my your ranking in the Attract-O-Meter is;
( maybe maybe perhaps Not my typical kind, but I would have time that is hard my eyeball-tracking however. )
As for advice (and since you may have previously inferred, i will be in your target demographic): a very important thing you could do to help make a geek feel safe is get him to generally share their favorite subject/intellectual infatuation/doctorial thesis. As soon as you get him started, along with simply the barest of constant prodding and display/simulacrum of great interest he’ll drop the shyness that is whole and tell you exactly about The Hitchhiker’s Guide to your Galaxy/linguistic interrelations for the Romance languages/the life cycle of abdominal worms. As soon as he’s run their course and it is convinced you are genuinely!, amazingly!, outstandingly! Thinking about him, he then’ll begin asking regarding your passions. (then he’s probably just a self-absorbed bastard, and you don’t want that if he doesn’t. You need to work through the initial barricade, perhaps not in to the dungeon. )